September 2011
6 tags
MOMEDY
me: I ate fried rabbit!
mom: grossssssssssssssssssss
mom: what if that was the easter bunny!!!
5 tags
“Guests sipped Macallan ten-year-old single-malt scotch. A young man sporting a...”
5 tags
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“such notable CBS News specials as “An Essay on Bridges” (1965), “An Essay on...”
– Andy Rooney is leaving “60 Minutes”
5 tags
4 tags
SIX THINGS I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT
me: i did not make this up
me: "If you enjoy Tex-Mex, or are open minded to it, then we will definitely get along."
af: "If you enjoy pasteurized products, then we will have an OK time."
af: "If you like a glass of milk,
af: then you sound ok."
af: "If you have ever dreamed of an egg ascending an escalator in a cup
af: then I want to bury myself in you."
3 tags
NOT-IFY
Brian: There's no This Heat on Spotify. *flips entire world over*
2 tags
“Before we execute this man we are going to humanely set him free, let him fall...”
– Justin
5 tags
“WHEREAS, the Perennial Purple Tree Collard represents what Richmond aspires to...”
– The things you learn about standing outside on the sidewalk in front of your apartment at 9 p.m. in Oakland
2 tags
TIARA BABY
me: did i ever win
mom: just first runner up...
me: my life is a lie
me: i thought i won once
mom: you got little trophies though...
mom: little bit of makeup...not much...you have good skin and perfect lips
me: uh
mom: i never let you look like a tiara baby
4 tags
“On a daily basis college graduates make me feel less ashamed that I dropped out...”
– carlos
2 tags
STUMP GRINDING | GUTTER MENDER →
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R. Dean Taylor — Indiana Wants You
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GOOD HUMOUR
Justin: Telling me about this show they have in england where people send clips of like bloopers I guess you would call it
Justin: There was one clip, it was a fat bloke and he coming don't on a bicycle onto this little ramp and it collapsed. You knew that would happen!
Brian: I just don't get British humor.
5 tags
“Bernie Rose [Albert Brooks] is the evil wizard, and Ron Perlman’s the dragon he...”
– Ryan Gosling
2 tags
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MUSIC/FASHION
me: Maybe I like jazz.
Brian: I don't think I'm smart enough to get it
me: Yeah I don't work too hard on that part
Brian: My only reaction is really like... cool hi-hat.
me: Haha
Brian: Like them hats, bro.
me: And a pork hi-hat for my head.
4 tags
PUN-E_BOOKS
me: hoarse_ebooks
me: Cold and flu remedies twitter bot
me: KILL ME
Justin: haha
me: hearse_ebooks
2 tags
1 tag
FOR BETTY →
“No, these are morons.”
“Road kill: I guess eating road kill is all a matter of taste”
– Gary Bogue column headline
4 tags
AWARDS AND HONORS
sarah: whatever, cv's aren't real.
sarah: i just read one by this dickweed that said he was co-named time magazine's "person of the year" in 2006
me: HAAAA
me: disgusting
sarah: yeah. had to look THAT one up.
me: did you ever have a gothy phase
pr: nah
pr: skipped right to alt-country
4 tags
CHECKING IN WITH OLD FRIENDS
charles: I like to make a hot toddy
charles: but cold
charles: and with no tea or lemon or honey
...
charles: I AM GONNA SMOKE A BACON CIGARETTE AND IT IS GOING TO RULE
...
charles: i joined a sketch comedy group
me: is it funny?
charles: so far i have written sketches about david attenborough masturbating, a baby at a bar complaining about being a baby, antique roads show (old roads), and an anarchist cooking show
