February 2011
January 2011
THINGS I AM THANKFUL FOR
From a 2008 e-mail I wrote, titled “reasons i totally want to die today”:
* the main proofer wasn’t printing until about 7 p.m. until then we had to do about 4 extra stupid steps to print a low-resolution copy for the rimmers to read, and they were marking mistakes that the low-res printer makes and not real mistakes in copy.
* i couldn’t print my color for my front...
VILLAGE PEOPLE
me: l, where can we do karaoke?
me: And not get date-raped?
lj: sorry, I had a guest...karate? ummmm
me: HAAAAA
lj: OH
lj: I almost said "the YMCA?"
me: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
“Bethesda Polyamory Munch Error: Rate limit exceeded - please wait 1 minute...”
– posted on Twitter to @arlingtoncounty (Arlington County News) 8 hours ago
“Do you know that most of the poor people in our country are working everyday?...”
– Martin Luther King said this, too.
2 tags
“I’d like to nominate Jeremy Irons for his reading of these nominees.”
– jd
ADVICE FOR BUSY WORKING MOMS
bw: I'm one-hundred per-cent positive having children is the worst thing in the world.
lj: B, I'll just have kids and ship them off to visit you for a couple weeks each year
lj: you're welcome!
bw: No
bw: No kids
bw: I hate children
lj: and they'll come back all sarcastic and smart ass like
lj: and I'll shake my head and say "never again'
me: They'll come back and not laugh at jokes, they'll just say, "That's funny."
bw: They'll come back complaining about being locked in my Music Haus for two weeks
me: You'll be like, clean your room! and they'll be like, I'm not fucking doing that.
lj: They'll come back and be annoyed with how uncool I am and I'll say "I was cool before I had kids!"
bw: I'll give them beer.
lj: that's fine
bw: And... drugs.
lj: and then they'll just want to come back again and again
lj: and I'll just keep sending them back
2 tags
“I already knew her life story, so it was kind of predictable.”
– coworker’s review of Frida
JAN. 12, 2011
The day “blood libel” became a hot SEO keyword.
BUZZY BEETLE BROOKLYN
be: I'd wear one of those things that look like Buzzy Beetles with the one spike on the top
me: And then impale your arm if you fell off or whatever
bw: The spike would just stick in the ground and I'd be stuck upside down
bw: Because the world is a cartoon
me: Haa, legs flailing
bw: Somehow unable to get free
me: A bystander plays a long note on a trombone
me: Another group of bystanders claps politely
bw: The motorcycle-riding turtle I was chasing slows down and honks before he speeds away
“‘05 was a huge year for white people.”
– bw
MAN FASHION COMPUTER MONEY
bw: I think it's rare to find a computer engineer that gets paid by the hour
bw: Likely because we're notorious procrastinators.
me: That makes sense. Are you paid comission?
me: If you make Computer understand, you get shawl-neck sweater?
bw: If sells, your product, Harris tweed blazer, you receive.
me: Desert boots are for closers!
