June 2009
“I watched some clips on Youtube and holy poop is this show unfunny, it’s like The Family Circus in a $200 sweater.”
—a friend who had never seen Friends before I think
May 2009
“My greatest pain in life is that I will never be able to see myself perform live.”
—
(via scout)
Kanye West is the modern day evil quote twin of Oscar Wilde
(via sympathyfortheartgallery)
Play
Play
Play
poetic
- little brother: hey, could you give me a definition of enjambment
- little brother: cause, all the dictionary sites are giving me crap answers
- me: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enjambment
- me: It's breaking a line in
- the middle of a sentence
- little brother: you are funny
- little brother: ha, cause it said ee cummings used it a CRAP LOAD
- little brother: i assumed that was what it was
“Navy vet awaiting arrest wrapped in US flag, wearing service ribbons. Calls the day a nat’l embarassment.”
—Matthew B. Stannard
“There’s a sense that a man’s life is bigger than the wedding, which is not the way people see things for women.”
—Elise Mac Adam
Play
RAW
- Jake: I'm looking forward to having a real meal for dinner
- Jake: we mostly just ate meat
- me: meat is delicious
- Jake: oysters, hamburgers, steaks, (some hashbrowns at breakfast), eggs, bacon, sausage (and some toast once)
- me: wow
- me: that's atkinsy
- me: do you feel like you've absorbed the power of all those animals?
- Jake: it was tasty, but I'm definitely looking forward to some food that isn't grilled meat
- Jake: yes, mostly I have absorbed the ambition to move of the oysters and the physique of the bacon and sausage animal
- Jake: and the smell of a cow
- Jake: I am one with nature
“WHEN, 4 years ago, Bill Rudell signed on as a volunteer for AIDS/LifeCycle, the annual fundraising ride benefiting the San Francisco AIDS Foundation, he initially got much less than he bargained for.
He ended up getting so much more.” —a local columnist, who has now broken my brain
He ended up getting so much more.” —a local columnist, who has now broken my brain
Play
Play
“One is actually opening up across the street. I was bummed when I realized it wasn’t like a paintball store or a strip club.”
—Justin, re: KFC
“I hate to see you like this, Ken Doll. It’s like an owl without a graduation cap. Heartbreaking!”
—Everything Tracy Jordan said in Season 3
“Prop 1D would take like a billion dollars from the state’s retarded children and use it to build a titanium temple for Arnold Schwarzenegger on the Moon. NO FOR CHRIST’S SAKE WHAT ABOUT THE RETARDED CHILDREN?
Prop 1F allows a handful of old people, many of them AM talk-radio listeners, to show up at a neighborhood church and haphazardly decide which state employees can and cannot get pay raises in certain years based on certain economic conditions and ratios that there is seriously no way in hell any of these people can begin to understand. NO NO NO THE NEXT PERSON OR GROUP TO PUT A PROPOSITION ON THE FUCKING BALLOT IS GOING TO GET THEIR BALLS CRUSHED WITH A POISON BULLDOZER.
Local Measures! There are also several local measures.” —Wonkette sums up California’s day of overheated democracy
Prop 1F allows a handful of old people, many of them AM talk-radio listeners, to show up at a neighborhood church and haphazardly decide which state employees can and cannot get pay raises in certain years based on certain economic conditions and ratios that there is seriously no way in hell any of these people can begin to understand. NO NO NO THE NEXT PERSON OR GROUP TO PUT A PROPOSITION ON THE FUCKING BALLOT IS GOING TO GET THEIR BALLS CRUSHED WITH A POISON BULLDOZER.
Local Measures! There are also several local measures.” —Wonkette sums up California’s day of overheated democracy
SPIN ON A CHESTNUT
- justin: I HAD A DREAM! It was like me and...me and you and like Louis Farrakhan for some reason was there and we were in the supermarket and Louis Farrakhan kept being like "Martin, oh my God, Martin! You have to get a birthday cake with..fucking, it was like get a sports cake!" So I kept being all um, gimmie a baseball cake or gimmie a hockey cake and shit and they didn't have ANY OF THOSE KINDS! Isn't that crazy!?
- justin: That's the less celebrated I HAD a dream speech
Play
