me: my mom thinks it would be funny to have your [1-year-old] little brother be a ringbearer
jake: I thought about that, but we'd have to wait like 4 years until he can walk and follow directions
we'd have better luck taping a ring to a cat and beckoning it to the front with a can of tuna
me: i told her we could tie it to his back on a pillow and have him crawl
jake: there's a quote for your tumblr you jerk
who knew this existed? →
that's pretty much what happened
zk: haha okay so in the picture where you are hugging him i would not ever in a million years guess that he had just proposed
you look like something bad happened
and he is all no miranda it is okay
and you are drunk and crying
Leona. (n) A female square; a woman who nags. Some far-out use.– 1977 Pocket Dictionary of American Slang
"Airplane Hash Hat" is my favorite by far →
Sarah Palin anagrams
me: wathcing Obama's speech?
carlos: Yeah. But I'm eating vanilla ice cream, so it kind of neutralizes the experience.
Bolivian Skirt Wrestling →
I’d like to think of this, your last semester @ CCSF, as potentially...– grph21 classmate, in a messageboard post to the instructor
Oh, Chuck Todd, you cad! →
My Wine Journal Entry No. 8, 9 and 10: Ercavio...
This review is coming several days after I polished these off, but I wanted to record them for your sake. The white wine Jake and I consumed in the course of preparing and eating beef souvlaki with bodega rice pilaf and some mostly homemade baklava. I still don’t know how to pronounce baklava. This dinner was really, really good, and we almost didn’t make it because I made him go...
Rock-happy (adj.) Crazy owing to living too long on a coral island.– 1977 Pocket Dictionary of American Slang
C.O.R.B.S. Cops on Recumbent Bikes from last night’s Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job!
the language of love
js: motorcycle riders :-S
there is a thread titled "Titties on my back. 8000 kms 2up on a 400 Burger" and the first post is just a picture of the dude's bike with a can of coors balanced on the seat saying "packed and ready to roll!!!!"
bikers are awesome
What exactly was he planning to do with 2,865... →
They also found cocaine, crack cocaine, about 15 pounds of marijuana and a stolen bronze sculpture of a centaur and a snake in battle.
Grayback (n.) A louse. Colloq. c1865 to c1910. Still some use by soldiers in the...– My 1977ed Pocket Dictionary of American Slang
Kids, bald men and dump truck drivers these days!
* Someone in a Starbucks in the 1800 block El Camino Real in Burlingame called the police Monday night to report that a woman blew her nose on the condiment bar. * Catamaran Park, 7:55 a.m.: Graffiti was found in the restroom. * 100 First Street, 1:02 p.m.: A key was found. * Mesa Court, 12:49 p.m.: A bald man in a vehicle with tinted windows allegedly followed a resident home, turned around,...
I feel you just did a wonderful job communicating to me on the verbal plane.– my classmate in Visual Literacy. oh wow this is gonna be fun
me: SAY SOMETHIN FUNNY FOR MY BLOG
bw: I wasted all my funny.
me: On what
bw: Well, this guy on Facebook leaves his girlfriend of 6 months these messages about how much he loves her constantly.
me: uh huh
bw: So that was funny.
Is that a knock-knock joke?
bw: Banana orange you apple?
Listen. The ball was round BEFORE you got high.– the intern