William F. Buckley's Greatest Hits →
“Roscoe” - Midlake
It’s like how we had a national government but that was too hard so we...– my high school chemistry teacher
5 Books That Can Actually Make You Stupider →
Despite some rumors, the Ku Klux Klan is not endorsing Barack Obama for...– the KKK
cool shit i swept in front of my house today
• 2 cigarette butts • mythic pizza flyer • brake dirt from thousands of cars • reflector from a bike • torn-up parking ticket • AAA battery, broken into 3 pieces • stub of a joint • a dime, tails up • someone’s EBT card • a worm
Man, Oldies 93.5 played Fleetwood Mac’s Dreams, CCR’s Green River...– jw
this video makes me love hillary a little →
He hides the exposed wood.– “How It’s Made” narration which made me laugh way too hard :(
z: naw i decided to go with tuna malt
z: tuna malt sounds so bad
"You're free to pray or not to pray for Huckabee. ... →
GWM going on diet to give away to any needy , great food - m4m - 49 (sebastopol)...– Craigslist personals
Banners I made with Library of Congress photos →
Please provide the date of your death.– IRS letter (via littlebitosunshine)
little brother: ugh
brother: i got a freaking detention
me: whoa! why?
brother: my cellphone called dakota on speakerphone in the middle of reading
me: did he answer?
brother: no, thankfully
brother: i was laughing cause at first i thought it was justins phone
brother: then i heard dakotas voice
brother: so thats a load
brother: im writing an apology to mr. taylor
brother: playing the tiny tim card
brother: the extremely kind and intelligent cripple
me: you're crippled?
brother: my foot, im on crutches
me: just like tiny tim
me: so do you think the apology will get you out of detention
brother: i hope so
brother: and in the email i put in that i wasnt pleading my case to get out of detention
brother: i hope that helps
Studies link being born to dying.– coworker
jw (who works in a hotel): I had a congregation in the meeting room the other day
me: oh yeah?
jw: Yeah, I didn't know what to expect. I'd never had them before.
jw: It was so LOUD
jw: They brought in like speakers and a mic and like a lazer light show and shit.
jw: Like...the meeting room is not even that big. There is no way on God's green earth you need a mic
jw: I don't know why they would think they could be that loud. So much stomping and clapping and singing and SCREAMING about Jesus
jw: And some guy who's room was right above them called down so pissed saying he was going to call the cops because they couldn't even hear the tv
jw: So I went and told them to keep it down because we had gotten a complaint from "the man upstairs."
me: you did not say that
me: oh my gdddd
Conway Twitty - “You’ve Never Been...
ig: hi miranda
me: hi ig
me: is your day better?
ig: i decided to base my self-esteem on my scores on okcupid "would i date you" tests
me: ok this is making me sad now too
ig: this is making me wish i was DEAD
me: i already wish i was dead
me: i didn't have to take any tests
ig: oh no fair
ig: i already wished it too
me: you can have it
me: you called it
Bill Clinton's Red Face of Courage →
It’s a lot easier to reject someone when you don’t have to reject...– Coworker
‘Your smile lights up the room.’ (Only use this one if she has a...– purported guide to pickup lines that really work!
me: what is that
z: a sabre tooth tiger DUH
z: i drew it with my own blood and a little urine oops
Yodeling is hilarious but it’s also kind of impressive.
the good old days
Also, it’s sung by Phil Collins in a Mexican... →
me: also i started wearing this hat
me: and jake hates it, so he stated wearing a hat too
bw: That's cute.
me: oh, yeah
me: i guess that's not interesting
bw: No, it is.