January 2009
“I’d be obscenely fat, yes, but I’d be celebratedly obscenely fat.”
– i like being introduced to myths in the course of hearing them torn down
Resolved.
- I will reduce frozen food consumption.
- I will drink more.
- I will get married.
- I will get a new job.
- I will not get pregnant.
- I will not spend the whole year in the United States.
- I will go campig.
December 2008
“As this long, memorable and costly - in so many ways, to so many people - year...”
– The Chronicle publishes and retracts its own demise
justin: Man, I don't wanna go to work today.
justin: Because I don't wanna put khakis on. I wanna stay in my jeans
me: wear jeans under the khakis
justin: Hahaha
justin: It's the perfect crime
We're all gonna die →
I read somewhere Yellowstone is just a dormant supervolcano that will eventually explode and destroy much of the West. It’s happening.
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2008-12-21) →
Woody Guthrie (8)
Gil Scott-Heron (6)
Yusuf Islam (4)
Loretta Lynn (3)
Al Green (3)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
Ann Margaret
this song doesn’t make me...
“At $2.79, I’ll try it once more, at a Taco Bell in town known for making...”
– Chowhound poster, regarding Taco Bell’s Cheesy Bacon Gordita Crunch
mo pages mo problems
me: You know how stories jump from the front to inside somewhere
me: The ad people didn't leave us ANY space for that
me: So they have to add pages to the paper
justin: Ooooh wooow. That sounds bad
justin: You know what though? Usually when it says like story continued on A5 or something I can never find A5 anyway so I figure most people are like that. You're probably ok
happy birthday brian
brian: You know, I never knew Liza Minelli was Judy Garland's daughter.
me: yeah!
brian: That right there, I think, is proof I'm straight.
me: I donno.
me: I think the jury's still out on that one
brian: It's a hung jury. A WELL-hung jury.
MERRY CHRISTMAS BRIAN
* 1600 block of Borel Place, 6 p.m.: A woman drove onto a lawn in her blue pickup truck and was spinning the wheels on the grass.
* Metro Center Boulevard, 6:04 p.m.: A motorist making a U-turn almost caused an accident in San Mateo. A person who observed the incident followed the driver to a Boston Market.
* Surfbird Isle, 1:08 a.m.: Something in a neighbor’s front yard was producing strange...
honor
justin: I can almost guarantee that anyone purchasing an Obama memorial plate will be doing so at the risk of welcoming the first black man into their homes.
justin: Only white people could be lame enough to want to spend money on shit like that
me: have you ever had a black person in YOUR house?
justin: No and it will stay that way because I don't have the cheese to be throwing around on memorial plates.
justin: Even iff'n they be plates of color
BRIAN TRIES WHISKY
I’ve been trying to get Brian to start this “feature” on my tumblr called BRIAN TRIES WHISKY, but since he’s never like, at his house at his keyboard when he drinks, this is the best I’ve got. In interview format, here is your first installment of BRIAN TRIES WHISKY.*
Brian: I drank Irish whisky last night, but I was at a bar and now I never want to drink again for...
“Do thee american manafacturers make good quality cars [about 3 hours ago from...”
– THE_REAL_SHAQ
My Top 5 Artists (Week Ending 2008-12-21) →
Woody Guthrie (8)
Gil Scott-Heron (6)
Yusuf Islam (4)
America (3)
Loretta Lynn (3)
Imported from Last.fm Tumblr by JoeLaz
“He called the shit poop!”
– the funniest line in Billy Madison
from an episode of Roseanne
Leon Carp: You love me, right?
Scott: I love you in a way that is mystical and eternal and illegal in 20 states.
Leon Carp: That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard.
